Ho Hum… I guess I knew this moment would come. My two week break between my last round of chemo and radiation and my new chemo treatment which begins tomorrow, was certainly action packed. As always there were highs and lows. I packed every single moment, you certainly learn to seize the day on this journey. Regardless of how I feel. I decided I needed to get out of town and enjoy my husband and kids and make some wonderful memories. First, some dear friends bought our whole family tickets to see Cirque du Soleil in Portland. It was AMAZING. The look on the kids’ faces was priceless. They were standing half the time asking ‘how do they do that?!?!’ After that, we used some sky miles and went down to California to see my brother-in-law, sister, niece, and mom for a few days (less than $50.00 a ticket!). We even squeezed in an action packed trip to Disneyland. Another priceless time watching the kids in astonishment at the ‘happiest place on earth’…. indeed it was. It was so touching to experience that with my family. And a timely distraction.
Our last evening in California, I was blessed to get to meet my sisters adorable co-workers. These women have really been a support to her. It’s been so difficult for me to not be able to be there for her as she’s nursing her dear husband through his battle with cancer, raising her daughter and working full time. God has raised up a wonderful network for her which really brought me a lot of peace.
Coming back home was bitter-sweet. It meant that chemo was right around the corner. It also meant that my last weekend feeling decent was at hand. For the past several years, it’s been a tradition to take my kids camping. We all go with a best friends’ family to Grass Creek and set up camp for a couple days. It was fabulous. Just trying to stay distracted (between bouts of panic, nightmares, and emotions) has been my goal over the past two weeks. My gosh, the inner torment is horrific. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t completely terrified to show up at Infusion tomorrow morning. I’m shaken to the bone and have shed endless tears. The extent to which I’ve been stretched and pulled and taxed is off the charts, and there’s no end in sight. I feel like I’m blindly navigating uncharted territory. (Big Sigh)
I’ll keep you posted as I’m able. All my love!!! I’m going in. Here are a couple pictures of our family. Please keep these faces in your heart and carry us in prayer.