Treatment Tomorrow

Monday, May 28, 2012 9:03 pm

Grass Creek Camping

Ho Hum… I guess I knew this moment would come. My two week break between my last round of chemo and radiation and my new chemo treatment which begins tomorrow, was certainly action packed. As always there were highs and lows. I packed every single moment, you certainly learn to seize the day on this journey. Regardless of how I feel. I decided I needed to get out of town and enjoy my husband and kids and make some wonderful memories. First, some dear friends bought our whole family tickets to see Cirque du Soleil in Portland. It was AMAZING. The look on the kids’ faces was priceless. They were standing half the time asking ‘how do they do that?!?!’ After that, we used some sky miles and went down to California to see my brother-in-law, sister, niece, and mom for a few days (less than $50.00 a ticket!). We even squeezed in an action packed trip to Disneyland. Another priceless time watching the kids in astonishment at the ‘happiest place on earth’…. indeed it was. It was so touching to experience that with my family. And a timely distraction.

Our last evening in California, I was blessed to get to meet my sisters adorable co-workers. These women have really been a support to her. It’s been so difficult for me to not be able to be there for her as she’s nursing her dear husband through his battle with cancer, raising her daughter and working full time. God has raised up a wonderful network for her which really brought me a lot of peace.

Coming back home was bitter-sweet. It meant that chemo was right around the corner. It also meant that my last weekend feeling decent was at hand. For the past several years, it’s been a tradition to take my kids camping. We all go with a best friends’ family to Grass Creek and set up camp for a couple days. It was fabulous. Just trying to stay distracted (between bouts of panic, nightmares, and emotions) has been my goal over the past two weeks. My gosh, the inner torment is horrific. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t completely terrified to show up at Infusion tomorrow morning. I’m shaken to the bone and have shed endless tears. The extent to which I’ve been stretched and pulled and taxed is off the charts, and there’s no end in sight. I feel like I’m blindly navigating uncharted territory. (Big Sigh)

I’ll keep you posted as I’m able. All my love!!! I’m going in. Here are a couple pictures of our family. Please keep these faces in your heart and carry us in prayer.

Disneyland

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JuRita Buckout - thought of you when i was running tonight. you are in my prayers. what a sweet precious family!! your kiddos are so big! gods peace and rest shawna. you are doing a great job. keep running the race looking unto jesus. much love from the buckout family.

Priscilla Hamin - Shawna, so nice to connect with you tonight. I really appreciate you being so real with me even though we never had the opportunity to get to know one another in the past.
I can’t imagine what it would be like to walk in your shoes right now. I pray that God will be with you and your family through this difficult time and that He will keep you and comfort you and your family.

Take care and I hope to see you again soon.

Amber Halpin - So glad you got to spend some special time making memories as a family Shawna! We must have just missed you down in Cali. We took little Kenny to Disneyland last Friday (25th). Such beautiful weather and so much fun : )

Thinking of you!

Mary Long - Love to you Shawna…thinking of you daily and praying day and night…you are going to beat mr. cancer!!!!!!!!

Amber Coleman - Beautiful family, admiring your constant choice to remain in the present and not give in to fears of the future. Will be praying God’s mercy, comfort, and tenderness as you pass through the fire. Courage friend, Blessings, Amber

Michelle Nyhus - You are an AMAZING woman. Strong, beautiful both inside and out. I think of you often Shawna and thought of you all day long yesterday knowing you were starting chemo again.

It is always a pleasure to see you and your beautiful family. Much love and hugs to you.

Love, Michelle

Sarah Emerson Sasser - Thank you for sharing Shawna. You are always so honest. I’m praying for you that God will continue to strengthen you and give you peace during this next round of treatments.

Mary Padilla - Hi Shawna, So glad you got to enjoy some time with your beautiful family. I can only imagine how you must be feeling but keep going. You can do this. You have the strength of so many people and your faith behind you. And remember that you are incredibly strong even when you’re feeling weak. Best wishes for the coming days.

Luci - Kaleb is so big…wow…I remember when he was a baby and he used to LOVE to play with Luci…once again I want to say thank you for allowing me to be part of this journey. And all I am asking to our Father is: Father please be near…these words made so much impact in my life last month when you wrote it. May the Prince of peace surrounds you with His peace for these next days. Te amo minha irma querida!!

Lynnie Poo - Sounds like a fabulous time together! I’m so so glad. And thank you for being so transparent. I feel like I say that all the time to you, but I really do feel closer to you and more equipped to pray with groans in my heart and pleadings on my lips. And I am praying for you today… for a miracle. A huge one and little ones.

sheri - So thankful that you could have this time with your family. You are a brave woman, Shawna. I’m so glad that you feel you can express your fears and down times as well as the good – it gives us a better idea of how to be praying. I know I find you in my prayers a lot so I can only imagine how often God hears your name called out before His throne. As I pray for you know that your entire family is included too. I know that this is not a testimony you would have desired for yourself but God is using you mightily none the less. Continue strong in Him.

Erin Hoover - So glad you got to visit your sister. I’m sure it meant the world to her. I think of you both everyday and pray that God gives you, Jerry, Shannon & all of your family what you need. It is clear He has lined up the right people in your lives & opened some wonderful doors. You remain an inspiration to me. I’m believing in His best, declaring His favor & hoping this new treatment plan will be exactly what your body needs to fight & win. Wish I could’ve seen you, just to say hi after all these years, but it sounds like you had a pretty full dance card & I’m glad you had a great time. As always, take care & God bless, Shawna.

Loving on Shawna

Treatment Tomorrow